We all love a well thought-out programme cover. Here are some that seemed like a good idea at the time….

With thanks to Miles McClagan.

 

Incongruous scenarios

1. microwave delivery  2. feeding the world  3. non-smokers  4. stars of stage  5. park the bus  6. Benedictine  7. casual scene  8. tyred out  9. stay in your lanes  10. Christmas comes early  11. Eastern promise  12.fashion victims  14. World Cup Willie  15. Miss Derby  16. best possible taste 17. catalogue mode  18. licenced to kilt  19. Gingerbread girls  20. campaign map  21. City slickers  22. wine waiter  23.  Oh Dennis, doo be doo  24. Villa parka  25. a nasty bobble  26. strip-o-Tran  27. granite grannies  28. we will rock ewe  29. model professionals  30. here comes Wrangler  31. uncool Yule  32. Stoke bloke  33. scary Berry  34. jings and crivens  35. carvery dinner  36. Freudian slip  37. secretary burden  38. feathered friend  39. family fun  40. Ni-key-ta  41. Wark on by  42. dirty washing  43. dance moves  44. card trick  45. Vale fail  46. lovely fags

 

Munsters United

1.  simian  2. grimacing  3. deformed  4. effete  5. permed  6. balletic  7. New Romantic  8. bizarre  9. bleached  10. nasal  11. bushy  12. deranged  14. sponsored  15. twins  16. adamant  17. Seventies

 

The art of the impossible

1. prancing  2. “Can you draw a wolf?”  3. Christmas cracker  4. anybody’s guess  5. if I only had a heart  6. highkicking  7. tableau  8. more barking than Barking  9. fear and loathing 10. more of a man than you’ll ever be  11. Alan Durban steals Christmas  12. come, friendly bombs  14. happiness is...  15. danse macabre  16. insect nation  17. gone fishing  18. tangerine scream  19. comic cut  20. burning bright  21. bull fright  22. stoned cherries

 

Design flaws

1.  lazy  2. unimaginative  3. compressed  4. messy  5. mis-spelled  6. jumbled  7. disproportionate  8. stretched